Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
