with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
