I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
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