Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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