Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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