Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
