We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
