You're my little dorito
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
