I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
