You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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