yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
