Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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