we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
