I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
