And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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