my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
