You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
