I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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