Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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