I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
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