everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
