Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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