If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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