About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
