Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
