Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
