My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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