office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
