I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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