i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
