Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize