I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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