People with herpes should wear stickers.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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