just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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