brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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