its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
