I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
