none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize