I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
