Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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