Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
