You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
