Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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