Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
