Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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