I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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