I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
