My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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