New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
