Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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