Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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