what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
