Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
