There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
