I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize