i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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