Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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