so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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