look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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