Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
