Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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