I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
