I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize