i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
