Buhtt sex?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
