i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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