the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
